Thin Veil of Molecules [Erotica]

'bondage/cuffs series' -- 'Its Yours, Take It' artwork by elmo2332 for the exhibition on the 20th July in Southsea by Bert32 on flicker

‘bondage/cuffs series’ — ‘Its Yours, Take It’ artwork by elmo2332 for the exhibition on the 20th July in Southsea by Bert32 on flicker

I came home in tears, feeling completely unable to control my emotions.  What was happening to me?  Why was I losing control so rapidly?  I knelt on the floor, still wearing my scrubs, sweaty from a long day at work, convulsing and sobbing, tears emptying from my nasolacrimal duct into my throat, snot loosened by flowing tears spilling from my nose and back into my mouth, running down my chin and neck, mixing with more tears, feeding into the growing wet spot on the collar of my scrub top.  I had been crying like this in the car, I remembered then, not quite sure how I had managed the ninety minute drive in that condition.  It seemed to come and go in waves.  The convulsions continued, able to take over my entire body now that I no longer needed to hold back to keep from crashing the car.  Some part of me had hoped that I would crash the car, but my drive for survival was still stronger.  This was not a new experience for me.  For a large part of my young adulthood, waves of overwhelming sadness that came on suddenly and could last for days or months came on a regular basis.  But I had a long period of relative calm.  It was only the latest string of perceived failures in my life that had reawakened my sense of hopelessness and dread and belief in the inevitability of pain.

I began to regain some awareness of my surroundings, calming down somewhat, having finally exhausted my stores of despair, or at least the energy to express it.  In front of me was a box of kleenex and a little plastic trash bag, a cold diet soda, and the rough tongue of my particularly fluffy cat to anxiously lick away the salty tears from my face and bite my nose in admonishment for my self-indulgence.  I was loved.  I was cared for.  How could I still feel so awful?  Nonetheless, it was enough that I felt safe, and that could sustain me for a very long time.

I succumbed to feline charms briefly, rubbing kitty’s tummy as he purred, finally turning to the kleenex to blow my nose and clean up the rest of my face.  Once my face was dry, I leaned my back against the wall and opened the can of soda.  I did not want to move.  I stretched my legs out, closed my eyes, and slowly consumed the caffeinated beverage, hoping the caffeine might infuse my cells, allowing me enough motivation to at least get up and pee, and wash my face properly.  Eventually, I did just that.

When I came out of the bathroom, I saw the lights were on in the basement, and I could hear Master calling for me.  I walked down the stairs and approached Master, saying “You called?”  He said, “Yes, I want to try something with you.”  Still in a somewhat of an emotional daze, I responded, “Oh?”  “Come here,” he said as he guided me to the opposite side of the basement.  Against the back wall I saw a large structure made of iron bars that could only be described as a rack.  Realization began to dawn on me, and I acquiesced to the scene with some degree of pleasure, hoping that the sensations I would experience here could drown out the emotional detritus that had been filling me most of the week.

I stripped down to my underwear and was rewarded with praise.  “Good girl,” he said to me, “now come here.”   I came to him and he said, “Stand here,” moving me into position. “Raise your right arm,” he said as he began to secure my right wrist to the rack with sturdy rope.  “Now your left,” as he secured my other wrist. “Now spread your legs,” he commanded, “wider…..ok,” and my ankles were also secured, one at a time.  He was intent on achieving a very specific outcome, and only he knew what that was or how he intended to get there.  I was gagged and blindfolded, tied to the rack in a very distinct “X” shape, my joints extended almost to their limit, my ass resting on a small wooden plank which kept my weight suspended primarily on the front of my feet, my heels slightly in the air.  He did not talk to me except to get me in the correct position.  When he finished, he stepped back from me and stood silent for a moment.  “How do you feel?” he asked, betraying nothing but curiosity as he removed my gag so that I could respond.  “I feel almost stretched to my limit,” I replied, beginning to understand the significance of that statement.  “Good,” he said as he replaced my gag, and I could tell he had achieved exactly what he had intended.  But this was only the beginning.  He remained silent until my discomfort became apparent and said, “Are you getting uncomfortable?”  Unable to see with the blindfold, I nodded in what I thought was his direction and made a muffled “uh-huh” noise through my gag.  He came closer to me and checked my bindings, asking “Do you have any tingling or loss of sensation?”  I shook my head to indicate I did not, and he seemed satisfied with that as he stood back again.

From approximately ten feet away, I could hear my Master speak to me from a seated position.  He seemed relaxed, still very much intent on whatever goal he had in mind.  “Now you are beginning to feel physical pain,”  he said to me,  “It will not do any permanent damage, but the pain will continue to increase.  As you feel this pain, think of your emotional pain, let it add to the sea of pain that surrounds you.”  As he spoke, the wave of sadness returned to me, and felt increased a thousandfold.  I began to pull against my bindings as sobs wracked my body once again.  I thought I had cried every tear that was in me, and yet more came.  My blindfold and gag were both stained with my tears within moments. He continued, “I want you to let everything out, let it be as big as it wants to be, let it completely consume you, you are safe.” I pulled and writhed and sobbed and soaked my body with tears, and still the sadness came through me, using me like a conduit to another dimension.

I was expecting more pain to be inflicted externally, but he only stayed in the same position, speaking to me in the same tone of voice.  “All the pain you feel is completely real, but in a sense, it is not real at all, because it is fleeting.  What you are feeling now is like a painting in the sand, its beauty for you and me alone, and it will be washed away by the waves of experience, but here, and now, we are both a part of it.”  He stood and came closer to me, his hands millimeters away from my skin, I could feel the warmth of him, hear his breathing and the slow movement of his own body as his hands moved from my hands, to my wists, to my arms, to my torso, my pelvis, thighs, calves, ankles, feet, and up again.  “Now you are filled with as much emotional pain as your body can possibly handle.  Feel it fill you from one end to the other, from your toes to your fingertips.”  He spoke in a very calm, hypnotic tone of voice.  “You are surrounded by a thin veil of molecules.  As long as you remain as you are, this veil will hold in all of that pain.  It will hold it, and nurture it, and magnify it for you so that you can feel every last bit of it.  Be intimate with your pain, allow it to caress you, “ he said, running his fingers lightly across the front of my thigh, sending shocks of unexpected pleasure like lightning bolts in a smoldering storm.  “Now what is amazing,” he said as he continued to lightly touch my body, moving to my breasts, my hair, my neck, “about this thin veil of molecules is that it is really a container, but more than a container, because it can affect change to its own contents.  That’s right, it can hold you like a blanket,” he whispered, cupping my breast, “it can hold in your pain, but it can also use your pain, “ he said with half a growl tweaking each nipple in turn, “it can use your very soul to change you, to make your pain something nourishing,” he continued, sliding his finger fluidly to my clitoris and leaving it there, “instead of ……DESTRUCTIVE,” he growled loudly as he shoved two fingers deep into my cunt, keeping them there as he continued. “And as your pain nourishes you,” he whispered into my ear, pushing rhythmically against my g-spot, “you find it becomes pleasure.  All this pleasure, so much it can barely be contained by that thin veil of molecules.  Let it grow,” he whispered into my other ear, “Let the pain feed into it, every ache becoming one of anticipation,” he growled again, pounding his fingers into me now so that I was drooling and gasping with pleasure through my gag, moaning uncontrollably.  How could I be cumming already?  But I knew that’s what was happening, and I was cumming harder than I’d ever imagined.  My whole body felt the waves of pleasure starting in my clit and cunt and radiating outward.

“Yes, cum for me,” he encouraged me as he continued to pound his fingers into me rubbing my clit with his thumb, “don’t stop cumming, don’t stop, don’t stop, “ he continued the last two words in time with his hand movements over and over until I was attempting to echo the sentiment regardless of my gag. Don’t stop, I thought, don’t stop the pain, don’t stop the pleasure, don’t stop, let it all out, don’t stop until there’s nothing left……. His words barely reached me now as he moved his hand more slowly and said, “That’s it you good little slut, let it all out, let it all out……..”  His hand was barely moving now, though waves of pleasure continued to throb in my clit and cunt, “That’s it,“ he said as he slowly withdrew his hand, then moved to untie my wrists and my ankles.  The waves lessened in me, and I felt as if everything had been almost completely drained from me, both pleasure and pain. Almost completely drained, but something remained.  I felt a warm glow begin to move through me as my last bond was loosened, my gag and blindfold carefully removed.  Master stood in front of me, assessing my condition, then moved towards me, placing his hand beneath my chin for a soft kiss that I responded to instinctively, the warm glow and waves of pleasure merging and becoming a new and growing veil of molecules.  “It’s all just a veil of molecules,” I thought, “like Master said, it can hold in the pain or it can change it until it becomes pleasure.  I can be nourished instead of damaged by the pain.”

We continued to kiss, and embraced more desperately, his hands and mouth moving to my nipples, my hand to his cock, getting hard with anticipation.  I suddenly could not wait and whispered to him, “Fuck me now.”  “Do you want me to fuck you on the hard floor?” he asked, pushing me down as he said it.  “Yes!” I hissed at him.  He disrobed and I pulled off my panties, and he fucked me agonizingly slow, thrusting harder each time, and I was cumming again already, screaming, “Fuck me!” in time to his thrusts and then nothing but “Yes” over and over as I continued to orgasm  with a new layer of intensity each time.  As new waves of pleasure washed over me, they used my pain, and washed it away, washed me clean.  I thought again of the thin veil of molecules, and now I could see it.  It surrounded us both.  I could feel it surrounding us both, penetrating us both as he penetrated me, exploding through us as his cock exploded with cum buried deep inside my cunt.  That thin veil of molecules was a being in its own right but belonged only to us.  We reveled in its blanketing goodness, my cunt sucking every last bit of cum from his cock as I came over and over again until it seemed it would never end.  Eventually, there were two thin veils, and I returned to the safety of my own.  But it was changed, that thin veil of molecules surrounding me, and it had changed me.

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